Okay, let me just make something clear: I love Gaga, I really do. Just... could she please for once not look like she has seriously just came out- no I'm sorry, escaped out- of Belleview? Please?
When I first saw Gaga, I saw her for two seconds in her Just Dance music video. I actually began hating Gaga because I just thought she was another crazy ass who needed to get famous to make herself feel better (which she still is) but I never thought that she had talent, I just thought she was a little "off". I gave her a second shot when I heard Poker Face when I was sitting in my dad's Honda Pilot and my first thought was, 'Omigosh, this song is great! I wonder who sings it.'
As soon as the song ended, Z100 said, "So that was once again, our very own Just Dance's singer, Lady Gaga."
My reaction was: WTF?!
Then I began stalking- I mean, doing intensive research- on Miss Gaga and it turned out that she actually does have talent. She really can sing. And if an artist knows how to sing, you are now off my "disliked" list and are in the waiting room to be "liked".
After that a bunch of her other songs and music videos (like Lovegame, Paparazzi, Bad Romance, even Telephone was okay) came out, and I really began liking her and her style. I LOVED her soft straight blonde hair, her crazy nails, her entire uniqueness really intrigued me.
Then Alejandro came out. I was actually sitting in class, waiting for the teacher to walk in, and my friend and I were talking about how Gaga recently released her new music video to Alejandro. For the next however many minutes (because you know Gaga, she can't be okay with just four minutes to a music video, she needs seven to get her freaky point across), I was sitting at my laptop, my mouth hanging open, my face all scrunched up (unattractive, yes I know), and completely creeped out.
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HER?! Did she hit her head or something? I saw in some Youtube concert video that she fell off her piano stool and hit the back of the piano (to which SHE STOOD UP AND CONTINUED TO SING), and I honestly believed that something happened that night, like she was in some concussion or something.
But I shrugged it off. All my friends were like, "V, you are completely insane for still liking her. She is nuts."
Secretly, I totally agreed but instead I said, "She still has talent. I'd like to see you belt out those kinds of notes."
Then....... her whole facade on the VMAs, was it? When she came out in a meat dress? Dear God, Gaga, even my parents (who are foreign) knew about it. They came to me and said, "V, can you show us that lady what's her name? The one who's completely insane? The one who wore meat to some award show?"
I nodded, getting out my laptop. I knew EXACTLY who they were talking about. Come on, who else wears freakin' meat as a dress? I mean, Ke$ha wore a garbage bag dress that same night but Gaga completely went all out. I showed them and they were stunned. (Apparently, a little FYI, Gaga cooked up her dress with the designer the next day and enjoyed some nice steak.)
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| Hi. I love wearing cows. Isn't that so chic? |
Oh, then the Born This Way single came out. I LOVED and still love it. Love the lyrics. But then her music video came out. I started watching it, got a little turned off, then shut it off. Needless to say, I don't like the music video.
Now... Judas came out. I liked the single, it is very Madonna-esque but then the music video came out. And...Gaga never seizes to freak me out on her music videos.
So apparently Judas is this dude who she's still in love with. She can't seem to uncling herself from him, even though he has betrayed her. She loves him so much that according to the lyrics, "I wash his feet with my hair if he needs".
Okay, on what planet does a guy ask you to wash his feet with your freaking hair? Obviously Planet Crazy which Gaga inhabits. She is probably the Queen of Planet Crazy along with Charlie Sheen being King. Lovely couple. Now I would definitely wake up at 3 in the morning to watch THEIR wedding online (sorry Willy and Kit-Kat).
I'm not even attempting to explain the music video because it is just so far-fetched and unexplainable. I have like, fifty questions just from that one music video. Like:
1. Why the hell is her hair yellow?
2. In the beginning, when Gaga is behind that guy on the motorcycle and she's singing, how did that guy keep a straight face for the entire time? I'd be laughing my brains out.
3. Where in the hell are they? Seriously? Where are they driving to? In where do they just break out and dance?
4. I know it's old news, but what's up with her outfits? These ones just seriously out do the meat dress altogether.
5. What happened to her lovestick that she sang in Lovegame? She has this porcupine spikey looking chain now.
6. I thought they were dancing. Why are they fighting now? Is that part of the choreography?
7. Okay... in the middle of the song, she just says, "Ew." What's ew? Somebody explain?
8. I actually thought for a second that she was gonna shoot Judas. But instead she fires out a lipstick and writes on his face? Really? Weird.
9. After she scribbles on his face, why does she fall down in agony? I don't get it. Does she miss scribbling on his face that much?
10. WHAT IS WITH HER STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF AN OCEAN?! doesn't she know she'll drown? Jesus. I mean, Judas. Gosh..
11. The bathtub scene? What the hell is going on? Why is she pouring water over that guy's feet? Isn't she supposed to wash it with her hair? At least she looks semi-pretty and normal...
12. Why does Judas pour holy water on her? I mean, she ain't so holy... Although she thinks she's some "holy fool".
13. Ha! She throws holy water into Judas's face. In yah face, Judas! That's not really a question.. but whatever.
14. Why are people throwing rocks at her?
15. Why is she crying?
Just a little sidenote: the Judas guy in the music video is so freaking scary looking, I like the guy who Gaga's not in love with ten times better.
Anyway, music video was insane. I don't understand it at all. Oh! Wait a second. Some Christian commented on the video: "I'm a Christian and love this song! It doesn't mean she's literally in love with Judas. She's in love with a guy who betrayed her like how Judas betrayed Jesus! Good Golly!"
Kay, calm down Brother Christian, we, Jews, don't know who Judas is. Chill.
And so what if she's still in love with some guy who betrayed her? Those are signs of completely obsession and she needs help. ASAP.
Note to Gaga: Gaga, you are a singer. That is an occupation, not a lifestyle. You don't have to be crazy 24/7.
But overall, I still kinda love her. She's different, crazy, yes I know, but she makes it okay for people to be crazy. On some Good Morning show, I only remember it because she came dressed as a condom but she said that in high school, she was the freak and she never fit in. So she wants to make this world where everyone is special and different and it's OK to be that way. I admire her for that. But it would help if she really didn't try so hard. She's got over 5 million fans, it's okay to simmer down at bit.
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| RIP Gaga 2008. You are greatly missed. |
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| I have escaped from the mental institution! |
I think it would be perfect if one day, during an award show, Gaga comes out in jeans n' tees, with sneakers. THAT would be the day... she won't but a girl can dream, no?
